[ic] cerevice inbox

[unionjackoff]

[there is a pause that has been recorded, unintentionally, followed by the sound of someone clearing his throat]

Uh. Hullo. This is Arthur Kirkland. Please leave a message. Or text. Or whatever...

[beep]

Comments

You've got mail!

[deathbysnusnu]

[unionjackoff]

...

Is this really from Germany?

[ AUDIO ]

[bakudanma]

<sub>[ probably either a few hours or day after all of this bullshit—
He's been keeping a good listening to what's been going on. And despite knowing Arthur's country title, he still insists on his nickname. America, Russia, England— they all have something in common so they must know each other. His assumption, but if he's wrong, he needs a comforting voice. But by surprise, Zura is highly intelligent.

And so, no matter where you are or what you're doing, here's Zura's voice: ]</sub>

BUSHY-DONOOOOO!

_{[ christ. ]}

America-dono, is he revived? 60,000 yen on a wedding dress, pissed away! I'm too young to be a widow!
_{[ ok he's sort of intelligent. ]}

[ AUDIO ]

[unionjackoff]

[what the.]

It's you again.

[no longer under the influence of the card! but England sounds a little haggard, to say the least. though who wouldn't be when confronted by Katsura lbr]

[Voicemail]

[redcinemareel]

England, if you truly go by that title. We need to talk.

[Her voice is clipped, and that's all she leaves.]

[Voicemail]

[unionjackoff]

[wow, that is an angry-sounding voice. England knows the voice too. normally, he would be delighted to recieve a message from his citizens! but Grell doesn't sound happy, and after the awful chat he had with Prussia? he's somewhat wary of answering.

hours go by until he finally gets the nerve]

If you plan on lecturing me, I am sorry but I'm not in the mood, miss Sutcliff. I'm quite done with being treated like yesterday's rubbish.

text;

[bigstick]

hey loser

[text]

[unionjackoff]

[fhdjkgjskdjskg WHAT'S THIS]

Do you not know how to use punctuation?

[text] 1/11

[gewehrundblut]

(ooc: backdated to the night of this network post. like. the night he got the vodka from russia. because no way would viet-nam let him get away with the travesty that is to come.)

heyj, englan,d yovu wanan haer a story?

[text] 2/11

[gewehrundblut]

i call ite yevbroaws: a love storty

[Text]

[ridethathippo]

Hey Arthur! Sorry I haven't gotten back to you in awhile. I've been having trouble finding a store that sells Duel Monsters. School has been tough too. [Carrying the protag tradition of sucking at formal education.]

I got another question about magic though. Are dragons real in your world and do they sometimes possess people? If you can summon a dragon to fight another dragon, does it normally give people chest pains?

And do you know anything about trapping souls in objects? I'm more interested in how to untrap them though.

[action/text]

[unionjackoff]

[huh. not a message England was expecting to see! it's quite a whopper, too! so many interesting questions]

Hello, Yuya. It's nice to hear from you again. I hope that school is working out for you here. [England is a little leery at the idea of education at Cerealia. are the classes taught by robots? or CERES scientists? scary! ...actually, he will ask that] Do you like your teacher?

Unfortunately, in my world, dragons are close to nonexistent, at least nowadays. I see one every few decades now and then, but they mostly keep to themselves. They are certainly not running around possessing people. I, myself, have not been able to summon a dragon, because it is a very clever beast. I'm not sure the dragons in my world would even allow themselves to be summoned to fight for humans. All the dragons I've met thought humans foolish and don't want anything to do with them.

Did something happen? Did you see dragons here?

In regards to trapping souls in objects, what you are referring to is a binding spell. It's been a long time since I've seen one in practice, but I do know that people still try to do them, either to tie a person's soul to an object, or to bind two souls together for romantic or unsavoury purposes. Since I do not have my book of spells with me, I am not entirely certain of how to go about unbinding a soul. I know it depends on what the soul is tied to, but other than that, there are incantations and preparations that one must make, and I do not have them memorised.

...What are you up to?

[prosecutory]

[Right after waking up and having dreamy memory fun times, Edgeworth is going to leave a message.]

England, this is Edgeworth. Please return my call as soon as possible.

Thank you.

[unionjackoff]

[England had a bizarre night. while he was dreaming, he recalls that he was talking to some guy named Gummy(?) and a girl. England, himself, had never seen these people before, but somehow he knew them, and he was experiencing grief and pain as he talked about a grim past. and yet, it wasn't him at all. England is fairly certain of that.

weird dreams. CERES must be putting something into the tea. he rubs his head and notices that his Cerevice is blinking. hn, a new message.

This is Edgeworth.

as soon as England hears the name, he knows that was who he was in the dream. but why? why would he be Miles Edgeworth, of all people?

and then, more importantly, Edgeworth called him England. England had introduced himself to everyone as Arthur Kirkland (aside from Natalia, but he was under a spell at the time). perhaps someone had told Edgeworth who he was? it had happened before. the other countries were not hiding their identities.

England runs his hand through his hair and thinks about how to answer. finally, he calls back]

Good morning, mister Edgeworth. This is Arthur. What can I do for you?

[ TEXT / MISFIRE ]

[bakudanma]

Is your apartment a wreck? Are your yukatas filthy with the blood and sweat of your enemies? The dishes, are they piled up and moldy? Does your bathroom smell like a set of test*cles?

~Contact Ezurako, a pleasant housemaid. First service is free and includes a free ramen or soba dinner of your choice~

[action/text]

[unionjackoff]

[what's all this then? looks like some kind of advertisement, but it's sent from that Katsura's number. could it be a prank? England decides to respond because you never can tell with Zura.......]

I assure you, my apartment is clean enough.

Did you get a new job? Should I call you Ezurako now?

text;

[bigstick]

Had an x-ray done today. Guess what they found? It was you, safely tucked away in my heart! They said my heart is fine with a friend like you in it. Send this to all the people you love and care for, if you get 5 back no one will break your heart. Xx

except PSYCH old man ur the worst hahahaha

[ imagine that douchey laugh again, it's happening ]

[action]

[unionjackoff]

[DELETES.

and then sulks]

voice;

[madhatted]

[ A message pops up in your inbox from an anonymous source. How strange! If you don't delete it immediately, you'll be greeted with an audio message that's quiet, at first. In fact, it's quiet enough that just in time for you to turn it up, it starts to speak. It sounds suspiciously like Xerxes Break if you know him, but at the same time, there's a totally stupid voice being used, since it's not like Break would send this message along. Emily, though? Of course. She's such a gossip. ]

Had an x-ray done today. Guess what they found? It was you, safely tucked away in my heart! They said my heart is fine with a friend like you in it. Send this to all the people you love and care for, because if you don't, then something preeeetty bad might happen to them! Heart failure is pretty serious~! Kehehehehehe!!!

(( ooc note ; break is sending this to literally everyone in the game, so I'm sorry... Feel free to figure out he caused it, since it's not like he's trying that hard to hide it. ))

[action]

[unionjackoff]

.................

[another one of these? HASN'T ENGLAND SUFFERED ENOUGH TODAY.

...England has no idea as to how to go about finding who posted this because he is not technically inclined. someday, though, when he hears this voice again, then he'll get the mysterious sender.

delete]

text

[poised]

You’ll have to pardon me if this sounds generic but I simply couldn’t think of a more efficient way to do it. Simply put, I’ve successfully managed to convert my world’s calendar to the one of this world and I best estimate my birthday to fall sometime before December 25th, which is apparently known as Christmas Day here. Then I had thought “oh, but certainly others would love to join in the festivities!” and so now my proposal is for there to be a lovely winter ball on thinking the 26th, hence the reason for this invitation. I would like to extend my request for your assistance in preparations for the ball, if you would be so kind as to lend your aid.

[GENERIC PART OVER and here’s where the personal message begins-]

You seem like a man of perfectly fine taste, England! I hope it’s not too forward of me to assume such. If you’d be willing to lend your time to helping me make sure that everything is tidy, I’d truly appreciate it. Also, might you know anyone familiar with music? I have one friend who I wish to play the guitar but I would like to have a full orchestra or at least a symphony….

[action / text]

[unionjackoff]

[England sure is befriending a lot of young ladies lately. and it appears they all want to celebrate with him. secretly, he is overjoyed to be included]

Natalia. I thank you for thinking of me. While I do have good taste, I worry that finding a whole symphony may be a daunting task.

But fear not! I will see if I can't... pull some strings.

[HE AMUSES HIMSELF]

text, shortly after the mass ad;

[harepiece]

[Guess who is SO EXCITED FOR THIS BALL and SO EXCITED ENGLAND IS HELPING and just excited in general because?!?! when isn't Oz excited about something, basically...

Anyway, he shoots off a text to England as soon as he spots the ad.]

Just want to let u know i can help if extra hands are needed w/ orchestra!

[The hooligans he texts are rubbing off on him.]

[text]

[unionjackoff]

[oh, hey! a familiar name pops up on his screen. England can't help but grin. haha! his post worked! it's only a matter of time before more notes start rolling in]

That would be ace. Would you like to help me make copies tomorrow?

text.

[multiglyphs]

Your Secret Santa is Cynbel Lightfoot. Have fun!

[ ACTION ] christmas day..........

[bakudanma]

_{[ AGGRESSIVE KNOCKING ON ENGLAND'S DOOR. ]}

Ha ha ha!! Open up the door, it's Santa Claus!
_{[ this isn't how you secret Santa. This isn't how to secret Santa at all.
It sounded like he was somebody trying to break in more than anything. ]}

[ ACTION ] help me........

[unionjackoff]

[you know it's a bad hangover when you wake up and your head is pounding. England groans, shoving his head under his pillow in an attempt to stop that knocking...

wait. knocking? and then a voice.

he jolts upright in his bed, and immediately regrets doing so. wow, his head. he is pretty sure he got blackout drunk last night, and he wants nothing more than to sleep the day away. except. it's Christmas. and he should probably get up.

...he eyes the clock through bleary eyes. it that right? it's 4 am? REALLY? and SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR? no, he does not need to get up this early!

but the knocking won't stop, and the voice sounds strangely familiar. maybe it's America? no, thank God. England finally manages to stagger out of bed and grab a robe. he is grumbling softly all the way to the door. Christmas Day or not, it's too fucking early for this]

Do you have any idea what time it is? [he says as he yanks open the door.

................oh]

Typed Letter

[redcinemareel]

[She got a new typewriter from Secret Santa! So she's trying it out. England is the first recipient of many more letters to come! Plus, it may be a better form of communication if she wants to pass along information discreetly. This is slipped into his mailbox just today.]

Dear Fatherland,

It has been some time since our last interaction, mostly due to my lack of availability. So I apologize, and hope this letter reaches you in good health. The holiday season is almost upon us. How will you be celebrating it? Not in solitude, hopefully. If the contrary, then I'll have to rectify that. There won't be an option to refuse, I'm afraid.


Your Citizen,
Grell Sutcliff

[handwritten letter]

[unionjackoff]

[it's always nice to receive a letter the old-fashioned way, isn't it? it seems more personal. England thinks about that before he responds to Grell by email. instead, he gets up, gets out a medium-sized pad of paper he'd been using to make notes on and begins a reply that way. it's nothing fancy, since he doesn't own any letterheads or decorative paper, but it should suffice.

the note is written so very neatly, in small cursive. then it goes into Grell's mailbox only a few hours later]

Grell,

It is good to hear from you. I, too, have been incredibly busy this past month. Not only have I been working, but I have been helping Natalia plan for the holiday ball, as well as participating in a Secret Santa exchange. I have already sent out my gift, and I will be attending the ball.

How have you been otherwise? Have you gotten any new information on CERES?

England

package!

[hoasen]

[Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It is a time of generosity, and so Vietnam would like to share some food that one can share with family and friends. A package containing some bánh quy bơ quế (butter cookies with Vietnamese cinnamon MMMM), and an assortment of mứt (candied fruit preserves) for the New Year.

There's also a few disks in here, all labelled accordingly. It's holograms for him to install into his apartment. Also a card is included:]

England,

Chúc Mừng Giáng Sinh! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

May your new year be prosperous and successful. Now is a good time for tea as well, so I hope to be able to share some moments with you. For now, I hope to leave you a piece of home so that we remember what our goals are.

Vietnam

[action + text]

[unionjackoff]

[Vietnam has been so thoughtful. England is very glad that he has her a friend, despite what he might say otherwise. after he's done decorating (and eating), he sends her a quick text]

Thank you for the thoughtful gift, milady. Chúc Mừng Giáng Sinh!

[Vietnam will be receiving a gift in return, but England plans on giving it to her at the ball]

delivery;

[provoquer]

[Apparently!! Christmas is a time for giving gifts, so Levi tracks down England's address and sends this! He hadn't been frightened that time inside of ViViD, and since Levi has too much free time on his hands here, he's decided to pen a rather frightening story in hopes of raising England's spirits. Back home he's published several novels under a...really, really stupid pen name. But they were all romance and friendship; horror is something new he's branched out into.

All the same, it's a short psychological horror story, handwritten, paper-clipped together and sent in an envelope along with the following note:]

To be read in the dark, beneath the mocking of the moonlight.

Happy Christmas!

-Levi Baskerville

[Also it's fucking terrifying, if not a bit on the cliche side. Think olde timey copypasta! It might at least give him a small thrill.]

[action + text]

[unionjackoff]

[this was such a thoughtful gift! a scary story penned just for him! England loves it. it creeped him out, which just made it better...

after he's done reading, he sends a quick text in Levi's direction]

This was the perfect gift. Many thanks, and happy holidays.

[don't worry, Levi. you will be getting your own gift either sometime during the ball, or after, if you're not there]

The form as promised

[thatched]

It isn't much, mate. I suppose you could just call it a formality.

[get it?]

[attached is the following]

Name: (Whatever you prefer to be called by)
Age: (Real number, please)
Astrological Sign: (not required but it helps)
Gender: (Fill in as desired)
Sexual Preference: (and likewise)
Mini Bio: (What do you want your potential date to know about you?)
Ideal Date: (What is your ultimate dream?)

[email]

[unionjackoff]

You might want to ask a few more questions in the future. This is good enough for the time being. Some people like surprises.

[and attached is the form filled out with his responses]


Name: Arthur Kirkland
Age: 24 [this is not his real age, but...]
Astrological Sign: Cancer
Gender: M
Sexual Preference: M
Mini Bio: I am an educated man, and I expect my partner to be, as well. I enjoy both horror and comedy genres, music, and magic. I'm looking for something casual, but not sordid. I do not participate in gratuitous public displays of affection. I am a masochist history enthusiast.
Ideal Date: Romantic, but not too cheesy.

Christmas Present! (sorry I'm late!)

[redcinemareel]

[The evening of the ball, there is a small box wrapped in royal blue paper with a large red bow with his name on it. Inside, there is a fountain pen with a gift card for him to get a personalized letterhead. She wasn't sure what he would like as a design, so he could choose himself.

With the pen, there is a note saying 'push the flat end and I'll be right there'. There isn't a name associated with the giver, but he should recognize Grell's handwriting by now, right? The pen is equipped with a tracker that's only activated when he pushes the button. It'll automatically send a signal to her so she can come whenever he needs help again.]

no worries!

[unionjackoff]

[England received more thoughtful gifts from almost-strangers this Christmas than the stuff he got last Christmas from people he's known for centuries. this pen is gorgeous, such a lovely blue (that pleasantly reminds him of someone), and he will be so happy to have his own letterhead while in Cerealia.

he won't push the button now, but he wonders if it will really work. he will try that some time soon. for now, he's going to go write a thank-you note......]

Totally not belated Christmas present at all

[sjokolade]

[Upon after a long day of work or whatever that might have happened, there is a box that happened to be lurking right next to your door. Whatever it might be, it was clear that there was something inside. If they happened to shake it, it seemed as though there were a lot of whatever these things were. Next to the box though, there happened to be a bottle of milk next to it. On top of the present, there happened to be a card. And it read….]

Hey, Arthur!

Sorry for the wait but I had to make sure that these were perfect! I think I done a decent job with them so I hope you like them! But anyway, this is my belated Christmas present to you! I hope you have a good rest of the year and let’s be sure to have the time of your lives here!

-Anna

[And if Arthur opens the box, he’ll happen to find some slightly burnt chocolate cookies. But at least it’s the thought at counts!!]

[unionjackoff]

[thankfully, England did not shake the box. when you see milk beside a gift, that's generally a tip that cookies are inside.

but... that means... Anna made him cookies. they barely knew each other, and she got him a gift. the thought makes him tear up. he... he didn't even get Anna a present. well, he'd give one to her later, after the new year!

now he's going to take these cookies inside and wonder why he wants to go home so badly when he has true friends who love him right here...]

Video, some nebulous time after the last event...

[faithfulflame]

[A message appears from Rei, and she's dressed formally in her finest kimono today. There's a certain gravity behind her words as she addresses England...]

Arthur-san, do you have any spare time to meet me in person today?

[video]

[unionjackoff]

[huh, England hasn't seen Rei since Christmas, where he learned she had a secret identity. his response comes while he's on his break at work. he's in his uniform, which is more like a fancy suit for a waiter]

Hullo, miss Hino. Is everything all right?

Action! ICly the day after his drunk post - Jan 30

[helmsplitter]

[Haru would probably be mad at him. And Vietnam, too, actually. Dotanuki had only just recovered from his severe damage at the hands of the ViVID malfunctions and already he was picking fights, with nations no less.

Buuuut what his master didn't know couldn't give him ulcers, so Dotanuki arrived at the park in his usual armor, carrying his red helmet under one arm and his tachi over the opposite shoulder. He didn't mind the cold despite not wearing a shirt under his open kimono top. And there he waited for his sparring partner, hoping he actually showed and all that talk hadn't been just because he was drunk. ]

[unionjackoff]

[what was he doing?

England was going into a fight with a sword spirit. right after coming out of the hospital. sure, he healed fast, but he wasn't immortal anymore. if they fought too hard, he could be killed. and then what would happen to him? his code had already gotten mangled during the tour.

still, when he shows up, England looks like he's completely healed. there are no more scratches on his body, and the bandage that was around his head is now gone. he also looks solid and is walking straight, meaning the alcohol was out of his system. he is not wearing armor, though he looks like he found some clothes for that would give him a little protection - jeans, a sweatshirt, a scarf, gloves and boots. at his side is a Claymore. who knows where he found that]

Dotanuki? [he raises his hand in a wave as he approaches. he managed to remember the name!]

voice;

[beaconed]

[ Have a super concerned phonecall from the hospital, England: ]

Mr. Kirkland, are you okay?! I heard you mixed alcohol with your meds and you went all loopy over the internet! I couldn't find anything on FaceTubes, though.

voice;

[unionjackoff]

[..............Jaune was looking for him on FaceTubes? little punk!]

What... How did you hear that?

Voicemail

[redcinemareel]

Darling? Did you manage to go on that tour?

[She knows he's been wanting to check out that research facility for ages.]

[video]

[unionjackoff]

[well, well. long time no talk. England frowns a bit at this message, but responds later, after work]

Good evening, miss Sutcliff. Yes, I did go on the tour. If you can even call it that.

voiceee

[manolia]

Hello! This is Chibi, from the other day - I should hope you remember me. [There's a teasing note to his voice. He's hard to forget, and he knows it!! Or something.] In any case, this Valentine's Day affair has prompted a pretty good sale at this one teahouse I'm fond of.

I would like to see you again, as well. Are you busy, or would you like to accompany me there that afternoon?

tl;dr

[unionjackoff]

[this message quite surprises him. is Chibi asking him out? on Valentine's Day? goodness, when was the last time that happened?

England considers this invitation for hours. there is a lot of pacing involved, a lot of thinking to be done. England has never dated a human before. but Chibi is from another world. and here... England isn't even immortal.

they had a fun time, didn't they? he doesn't have to look at this like a date! he can look at it as hanging out with someone who's company he quite enjoys. oh, why is this so stressful? as romantic as England is, as old as he is, he's had very few relationships. and for someone to take such an interest in him, to tell him he wants to see him again........... it's overwhelming. and flattering.

he replies much much later, via text]

I'll see if I can get off work.

[whole lot of hullabaloo for a one sentence response]